There is a Depression That Comes From Spiritual Wealth

by Rav Avraham Yitzchak Kook

There is a depression that comes from spiritual wealth, and there is a joy that comes from a poverty of mind.

How can that be?

[Spiritual] phenomena overwhelm me. Visions of visions come before my spiritual eyes. I gaze into books, into the holiest and most elevated books, and their wellsprings are alive and pour forth. They cause many wellsprings to flow with their primal power into my inner spirit.

And with each vision an inner commotion is born.

[I ask myself:] Where does all this come from? The beginning of the vision and its certainty—where is that drawn from?

And [with this self-questioning], my soul suffers in its sadness [as it contemplates] this joy of its wealth.

[But] this sadness [is good, for it] refines the spirit, sharpens the mind and moistens the richness of spiritual life. And knowledge that comes from the source, and from the source of the source, as well as a very precious ability to heed—[both of which] are great and broad—are born.

And they come with a certainty that is assured, and they raise the soul to a supernal place.

But in that supernal place the question returns anew regarding these new instances of certainty, which comprise a most supernal wealth. It at first makes its appearance with the diadem of its splendor, with the brilliance of its joy, but it is afterwards followed by the question: whose son is this youth? Is he fit to join the congregation?

And that inquiring thought is reawakened, it seeks paths—it seeks [them] and it finds [them]. [So then there comes a] new certainty [that] finds very deep roots in the soul, that comes to the power of deed.

A strong impulse to influence [the world] and to unify a broad circle of life comes and presents itself, until [there is] new ascent, as a result of which everything [before] is forgotten.

All of the previous wealth fades away, and images of a higher world come, a pure atmosphere, pure and fresh. Luminous bodies shine in a form that had never before been imagined. And there is no memory of the past; [there is only] the present and the future, heartwarming and pleasant. Creativity multiplies and certainty rises to its peak.

But [then] an inquiring spirit comes and inserts a new sadness. [But that is] in order to give birth to a supernal joy and the revelation of a rectified world.

“That which was not told to them they saw, and regarding that which they had not heard, they looked.”

Chadarav, p. 113